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Embracing Koselig: The Winter Ritual of Outdoor Adventures and Indoor Comfort

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By ABL Staff

As winter blankets the landscape in a frosty embrace, the importance of finding balance between outdoor adventure and indoor comfort becomes ever more essential. This harmony is beautifully captured in the Norwegian concept of “Koselig,” which embodies the feelings of warmth, togetherness, and coziness that are so vital during the colder months. The cold may drive us indoors, but stepping outside into the brisk air can provide exhilarating experiences that enhance our well-being. By embracing the chill, we allow ourselves the opportunity to relish the warmth of cozy spaces upon our return, fostering healthier mental states throughout the often dreary winter.

Getting outside during the colder months might seem counterintuitive, but the transformative power of fresh air cannot be overstated. Engaging with the beauty of a winter landscape can lift our spirits, stimulate our senses, and energize our bodies. Whether it’s a brisk walk in the park, an afternoon of snowshoeing, or simply a moment spent breathing in the crisp air, these outdoor experiences remind us of the resilience of nature—and ourselves. Exposure to natural light, even when filtered through layers of clouds, helps combat the winter blues and improves mood. Furthermore, engaging in physical activities outdoors can trigger the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters.

Upon returning indoors, the concept of Koselig shines brightest. Imagine shedding a coat frozen with the remnants of winter, entering a space filled with warmth and the soothing aroma of hot beverages. Surrounding ourselves with soft blankets, warm lights, and perhaps a good book or cherished company, we can create a sanctuary that not only provides physical warmth but also
nurtures our emotional well-being. The layered experience of feeling the cold outside only to indulge in cozy comforts indoors enhances our appreciation for the warmth we so often take for
granted. This duality acts as a reminder that contrasts in our experiences can heighten our enjoyment—once we feel the bite of winter, a cozy evening feels all the more satisfying.

In the heart of winter, maintaining mental wellness can be challenging, yet cultivating rituals of Koselig can combat feelings of isolation and sadness. By intentionally scheduling time outdoors
amidst the frost, we not only embrace the invigorating chill but also set ourselves up for moments of profound relaxation and comfort inside. It’s the interplay of these experiences—the thrill of the cold followed by the soothing embrace of warmth—that fosters a greater sense of balance. Just as nature transitions from harsh winters to hopeful springs, we too can find joy in the cycle of cold and coziness, building mental resilience to thrive even in the darkest days of the year.

Curious about starting your mental health journey this winter? Give us a call at A Balanced Life at 530-544-1748 to take the next step

Coping with Wildfire Anxiety

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Lindsay Simon, LMFT – August 25, 2021

Humans are creatures of habit and we like certainty.  The current wildfire situation is one of many current external crisis in the world right now that is bringing up many uncomfortable emotions. In California there are 12 active large wildfires that have burned over 1.6 million acres. In the face of uncertainty and potential threat, we experience anxiety, unease, discomfort, feeling trapped, fear, anger or possibly sadness.

Currently (as of 8/25/21) in South Lake Tahoe the Caldor Fire is less than 20 miles away, 12% contained, has burned 126,566 acres, and is creating extremely unhealthy smoke and air quality in the Lake Tahoe Basin (700 plus AQI at times). The smoke provides a constant reminder of threat, leads to restlessness as outdoor activity is limited, creates and exacerbates health problems, lethargy, and of course anxiety.  We are all feeling it.  We are all in this together.

Here are some tips that might help you to cope with the current wildfire and smoke situation in the West, where wildfires are running rampant. (For additional reading on specifically managing COVID-19 related anxiety check out this previous post here: https://www.abalancedlifetahoe.com/coping-with-anxiety-in-these-difficult-times/)

  1. Radical Acceptance

This is a coping skills coined by Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  DBT is an evidence-based form of therapy developed for clients who experience intense emotions and identify as emotionally sensitive (usually as a result of childhood complex trauma and neglect).  Radical Acceptance is the concept of fully accepting things that are out of your control just as they are, rather than wishing they were different than they are.  Our desire and wish for things to be different than they are creates additional unnecessary suffering.  Something in all of our control is changing our thinking to accept situations that are out of our control.  What this might sound like is: “it is what it is” or “the wildfires are what they are, we can’t change the past, we can’t predict the future, it is what it is, and we can do the best we can to handle whatever comes our way when it comes our way.”

  1. Focus on What is IN Your Control and Take Action

Since you are radically accepting the things out of your control, (such as the fact that there are wildfires, smoke, or past human behaviors impacting the current situation) then you can focus your thoughts and actions on the things in your control in order to feel less anxious, sad, stuck or resentful.

Examples of things in your control that you can do right now to help you feel better:

Pack a bag to prepare for evacuation, prepare your house using the evacuation preparation list from Cal Fire, stay informed very intermittently (not constantly) of the fire situation, call a friend, read, play video games, do an online workout, meditate, practice gratitude for what you do have, research ways to help improve the environment, find volunteer organizations you can help through your time or financial support, focus on your blessings, do a creative project, paint, journal, play a board game, pray, sing, listen to music, dance, cook, eat healthy food, drink calming tea, limit caffeine intake, clean, catch up on sleep, re-arrange your furniture, build something, de-clutter, attend therapy and follow through with your therapy homework!  When you take the time to brainstorm there are lots of indoor activities that are possible.

*try sitting down for 2 minutes and writing down at least 10 action item ideas that work for you*

  1.  Be Mindful and Limit Your News Consumption

A negative spiral of anxiety can occur if you consume negative news that is meant to elicit negative emotions in order to keep your attention and improve ratings.  This becomes a negative cycle as once the news is off, anxiety creeps in from the uncertainty, you check the news again, then once you stop watching the anxiety comes back, then you check it again, etc.  This cycle of anxiety you experience can then be felt by those around you and create a negative mental, emotional and environmental space that is not necessary.

You can be in the midst of a natural disaster and stay calm, it all starts with what thoughts you choose to focus on (and recognizing and letting go of those that are not helpful such as future-tripping thoughts), use calm breathing and grounding skills, and create a calming environment.  Set boundaries around your news consumption and with those around you who are in a negative spiral in a kind and compassionate way.  Set a time to check on the news, ideal is at most once a day for less than 5 minutes.  Have an alert set on your phone for any immediate crisis responses needed.

  1. Practice Faith and Compassion in Yourself and Humanity

Although we like certainty, we are also a species of resilience and adaptability.  We have managed to evolve and survive over the past 2 million years, out surviving many other species while our population has grown dramatically in a vast variety of environments.  Being able to focus on our strengths as humans and believe and know that we can handle things that come our way when they come our way, can help increase your confidence in yourself and others.  The journey may not be perfect and smooth, and very bumpy at times, but we will get through it the best we can given the skills, awareness and knowledge we have at the time.

If you would like support in coping emotionally and mentally with the current world and personal stressors, a skilled therapist can help you feel better.  Here at A Balanced Life we have 6 highly skilled therapists, check out our options here: www.abalancedlifetahoe.com or reach out directly to the office to speak with Terra or Brit who can help answer your questions and find you the best fit therapist:

(530) 544-1748

Or email office@abalancedlifetahoe.com

 

Behavioral Change is NOT about Willpower

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If you’re like the vast majority of people, you have a behavior that you’d like to change, maybe nail biting, smoking, or getting more exercise. Most people think making a change is linked to willpower and the strength of one’s character. The reality is, sometimes all it takes is changing the way we THINK about our behaviors to actually change them.

I’ll be using my own example of quitting smoking, which happened about 10 years ago. My reasons for quitting smoking were multifold, but mainly I wanted to have better health. I tried white-knuckling it (using pure willpower) several times and it didn’t work. I’d heard that it takes on average 8-14 attempts to quit smoking, and that most smokers don’t stop until their 40s or 50s, so I wanted to take a different approach. Below are tips and tricks that are associated with long term success. These tools helped me immensely in my own behavior change. 

Tip 1: Tracking your behavior.
Tracking your behavior gives you increased awareness and greater responsibility for making new choices. Keeping a record will also help you to find out what events trigger the action. Start with writing down (on your cell phone, notebook, a piece of paper – whatever works!) every time you do the behavior for one week. This will give you a baseline of how often you indulge in the habit you want to change. As time passes, you will be able to see your progress. By keeping track, I noticed particular patterns, such as smoking when I first woke up, when I was driving, when I first got home and after meals. I ended up with an average of a certain number of cigarettes per day. I made a plan for the next week to reduce the number of cigarettes I smoked by half.

Tip 2: Find and focus on your motivation
What is your goal and why do you want to do this? Take time to reflect and ask yourself at least 5 “why” questions, to fully explore why you want to change your behavior

For example:

  1. Why do you want to stop smoking: to get healthy
  2. Why do you want to get healthy: so I can live longer and in less pain
  3. Why do you want to live longer: so I can help more people and watch my kids grow up
  4. Why is it important that you watch your kids grow up and help people: because I want to leave a positive legacy behind
  5. Why is it important that you leave a positive legacy: because I want to live a meaningful life and feel like I have a purpose on this planet

You can use the results of your journaling exercise to create a mantra. For me, it was “Get Healthy! Breathe!” Every day I would re-read those words and this helped me to maintain my motivation and focus. 

Tip 3: Environmental Control
When we have temptations in our immediate environment, we are more likely to slip into old ways. If I didn’t have cigarettes with me, then I was less likely to smoke. Of course I could always run by a store and get some, but not having them immediately accessible allowed me to be more mindful, give me time to interrupt my urge and decision to buy more cigarettes, and/or use my distraction techniques. 

Take inventory of your home environment and set yourself up for success by getting rid of things that will trigger the behavior you’re removing. If you’re working to increase or add a behavior, such as going for a run in the morning, get your running shoes and outfit ready before you go to bed at night.

Tip 4: It is easier to add a behavior, than to take it away
If you want to reduce a behavior, find something that you can replace it with. If you are adding or increasing a behavior, pair it with something you already do. For example, if you want to practice mindfulness each day, try pairing it with brushing your teeth. Each day after you brush your teeth, do your mindfulness practice. 

I made plans to cope during the times I would normally want to smoke. Instead of immediately smoking when I got home, I would distract myself with putting my things away (instead of just dumping it on a chair), playing with my pets, etc. While driving, I would chew gum or mints. I brushed my teeth right after dinner so I would be less tempted to smoke. 

Tip 5: Accountability
It can be hard to make changes – so having someone to help you stay accountable, while building you up and helping you problem solve, can be invaluable for a behavior change. I bet you have a friend who also has a behavior they’d like to change. Even if the behavior is different from yours, you can still help each other! I had accountability with a classmate who was working on procrastination. We helped each other by checking in each week and sharing what we noticed about our experience. 

Tip 6: Reward yourself
Come up with a plan to reward yourself for accomplishing your behavior! You’ve earned it! Make sure that it’s something special and that it is aligned with your goals. For example, rewarding yourself for sticking to your workout goals for the week could be taking a new class that you’ve wanted to try or buying some new workout gear. When I was able to stick to or below my goal, I rewarded myself with a piece of dark chocolate before bed (from a sleep hygiene perspective I do not recommend this as chocolate has caffeine, but you get the point). If I didn’t meet my goal, I would do ten pushups or situps.

I hope you find these tools helpful in working towards your behavior change goals. It’s been 10 years since I kicked the habit of smoking, and while it was difficult, using these strategies I was able to effect a lasting change in my life. 

If you’re working hard and still struggling or feeling stuck, we have therapists on staff who are ready to support you. You may also want to check out our SMART Recovery meeting, which meets every Tuesday at 6:00pm. SMART Recovery is open to anyone working on quitting or decreasing any addictive behavior, whether it’s phone addiction, gambling, or substance related. We offer SMART Recovery by donation and all are welcome! 

For more support: 

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/quitting-smoking-expect-failure-before-you-succeed#1

https://medium.com/lifeomic/10-science-backed-tips-to-making-a-health-behavior-change-that-sticks-8655c3bbde50

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/lifestyle-changes

Karen Joaquin LMFT, 82969 | I am a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT and a Licensed Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor with the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals. I obtained my MA degree in Counseling Psychology at University of San Francisco and have 9 years of providing individual, family and group therapy in the Bay Area and South Lake Tahoe. I have worked with mostly adolescents and adults, with extensive experience with co-occurring disorders and those involved in the justice system. In addition, I have experience in a variety of work environments including crisis services, county, school, group home and field-based services. I will work collaboratively with other providers such as Primary Care Physicians, Psychiatrists and other clinicians for a comprehensive approach. I primarily use a Cognitive-Behavioral approach, incorporating strategies from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Solutions-Focused treatment, and humanistic strategies. I believe that by forming a cooperative relationship, I can work together with my clients to form a fresh understanding of their experiences, allowing for change to occur.